Saturday, January 1, 2011

It started with a list . . .

I started making a list last spring of the 30 things I wanted to achieve before my 30th birthday. The number one thing was to drop the weight and “achieve my dream body”. Now, I can’t be sure I will actually achieve this dream body I desire without a bit of surgery, but I know that dropping my desired weight will definitely get me closer to that goal.

So then I saw a posting by a friend on facebook for a biggest loser contest and knowing that the deadline is coming up, I need all the motivation I can get. Pictures, of both me from when I was thin and of people that I want to look like once I have achieved this loss. Quotes to keep me focused and going. Surround myself with positive people and things.

See, this isn’t the first (or second or eighth) time that I have done this. I have dropped and regained, several times, the same 30 pounds. Sometimes, it was less than 30, sometimes more. More than once, I would make all these declarations and get all amped up and then fizzle out. But not this time. I have too much to gain (in self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence) and so much weight to lose too. I don’t want to go into my 30′s hating myself the way I have in my 20′s. I don’t want to keep settling for the things in my life because I didn’t feel I was worthy of the things I actually deserve (much like my history of great start up and crappy follow-thru, I also settle for everything in my life).

The weigh-ins start in the morning. And for the next 8 weeks, I will be a part of a competition that does include my mom, but she has asked to be left out of this digital account of my journey. I will tell you right here and now that I am more dedicated to this THIS time than just about any other time in the past. Nothing is going to stop me.

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